In an attempt to out-scoop the scoopers, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences released their list of the top ten Emmy finalists for drama and comedy on their website today. (It's dated July 26, 2008. Actually, it's dated WAY in the future, 20008, to be exact.) This is the list, presumably, from which the five nominees will be chosen.
I'm super in love with this list. There are a few shows I haven't seen but that I've heard are amazing. And, hey, that's what DVDs are for, right?
My one question, though, is "How the frak does Two and a Half Men keep getting nominated?" For serious. I've watched it a couple of times and have, at most, chuckled half-heartedly here and there. Charlie Sheen must be giving up the goods or something. I really just don't get it.
It's how I felt about Everybody Loves Raymond. I've seen Ray Romano's stand-up. Funny. Everybody Loves Raymond? Not funny. But every single year, it was nominated. And didn't Patricia Heaton win every year? Gah!
You know what, Charlie? I apologize. It's not you. Obviously, it's Les Moonves who's peddling his wares in exchange for some recognition for CBS. What, Les? Having CSI be the most watched drama on TV's not enough?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Coldplay Can Go Blow
You know what I hate? Something being forced down my throat. Coldplay could be the most awesome band in all of existence. But I don't care. Between that commercial, The Daily Show and, now, the Today show, I'm done with them. Fuck you, Coldplay.
But I want to marry their agent. That person is clearly an evil genius.
But I want to marry their agent. That person is clearly an evil genius.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Not Tonight, Honey
I just saw an ad for Valtrex which was immediately followed by one for Levitra.
It would have made more sense the other way 'round.
It would have made more sense the other way 'round.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Slater Rulz, Zack Droolz
Mario Lopez (who will forever be A.C. Slater to my generation) has been named People magazine's Hottest Bachelor. I would take these lists more seriously if People didn't release, like, 271 rankings a year. But that's beside the point.
I saw an interview with Lopez on Today this morning and was just amused. Well, when I wasn't enthralled with all the shirtless pics. You'd think I'd be used to him shirtless, having seen him in the Greg Louganis biopic. He's in Speedos for, I'd say, a third of the movie. And he was very often in revealing wrestling uniforms and (oddly) shirtless in many a Saved by the Bell episode. (I say "odd" since the show was directed toward pre-teens.)
In any event, what captivated me was the nude photo. But not for the expected reasons. First, there was the bear skin rug. Strike one. You can't take anything that includes a bear skin rug seriously. I mean, it's the ultimate symbol for cheesiness. Then, there's Lopez's expression. You can tell he was going for easy-going, but he really just looked uncomfortable. Maybe that's because he was posing with his hand tucked into his nethers. It just seems like an odd choice for hiding A.C. [Because I imagine he's named his junk A.C. I would if I were him.] But the best part was that, aired on Today, his crotch was pixelated. Really? Was the hand too suggestive? Because, I mean, it's a photo in People, not Inches. And if they thought it was that racy, then why show it in the first place? Morning television baffles me sometimes.
So, anyway, congratulations (or whatever) to Mario Lopez. Way to be hot and single. Do you think that in some alternate universe, Slater is also People's Hottest Bachelor and Kelly, nursing her fifth rugrat, is kicking herself for marrying Zack who's kind of let himself go and whose boyish charm is no longer as charming? I'm probably the only person who wonders these things.
Update: I recently learned that the photo was a re-creation of the iconic Burt Reynolds spread.
I saw an interview with Lopez on Today this morning and was just amused. Well, when I wasn't enthralled with all the shirtless pics. You'd think I'd be used to him shirtless, having seen him in the Greg Louganis biopic. He's in Speedos for, I'd say, a third of the movie. And he was very often in revealing wrestling uniforms and (oddly) shirtless in many a Saved by the Bell episode. (I say "odd" since the show was directed toward pre-teens.)
In any event, what captivated me was the nude photo. But not for the expected reasons. First, there was the bear skin rug. Strike one. You can't take anything that includes a bear skin rug seriously. I mean, it's the ultimate symbol for cheesiness. Then, there's Lopez's expression. You can tell he was going for easy-going, but he really just looked uncomfortable. Maybe that's because he was posing with his hand tucked into his nethers. It just seems like an odd choice for hiding A.C. [Because I imagine he's named his junk A.C. I would if I were him.] But the best part was that, aired on Today, his crotch was pixelated. Really? Was the hand too suggestive? Because, I mean, it's a photo in People, not Inches. And if they thought it was that racy, then why show it in the first place? Morning television baffles me sometimes.
So, anyway, congratulations (or whatever) to Mario Lopez. Way to be hot and single. Do you think that in some alternate universe, Slater is also People's Hottest Bachelor and Kelly, nursing her fifth rugrat, is kicking herself for marrying Zack who's kind of let himself go and whose boyish charm is no longer as charming? I'm probably the only person who wonders these things.
Update: I recently learned that the photo was a re-creation of the iconic Burt Reynolds spread.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
And the Shutty Goes To...
I know that we, as Americans, are overrun with awards and awards shows. But I think it's time to add one more: The STFU Awards, or the Shutty. This distinction goes to, basically, whomever is annoying me at the moment. The recipient will then have to refrain from talking to the media or risk my ire. (Yes, I know I have no real power. But leave me my delusions, huh?)
The first honoree is Marky Mark for bad-mouthing George Clooney. In explaining his decision to turn down Matt Damon's role in Ocean's Eleven, he claims he just didn't feel like "sitting with Brad [Pitt] and George, telling the press how great everybody is! That's not for me." Yes, Marky, I can see that being sweet and gracious (if a little over-the-top with the buddy routine) is not your bag. And, yeah, I know that you haven't been Marky Mark for awhile, but until you shape up, I won't be calling you by your given name.
Second on the list is PETA. I pretty much hate everything that PETA does because I can't stand smugness, and a lot of their "facts" are, frankly, not actual facts. But picking on poor, dimwitted Jessica Simpson is just low. It's almost like making fun of a five-year-old. Plus, I kind of thought her "Real Girls Eat Meat" tee was precious. I am a fan of tees even though they're so 2001.
Oh, also. This?
Katie Heigl? You just barely escaped receiving a Shutty, but only because I just thought of them this morning. Lucky, lucky you.
But just so you don't think I'm a total Negative Nelly. (For the record, I'm just a nelly.) I'll hand out a You Done Good Award. Tom Colicchio gets it. I just spent about an hour clicking links to interviews with Chef Tom. I won't link to all of them, only his blog. He's developed such a fun, affable TV persona over the years, and I appreciate that. So, Chef Tom? You done good!
(Okay, I lied. I really have to link to this Grub Street interview because his wife makes a filthy comment, which made Tom blush. And made me want to hang out with her and a pitcher of martinis.)
The first honoree is Marky Mark for bad-mouthing George Clooney. In explaining his decision to turn down Matt Damon's role in Ocean's Eleven, he claims he just didn't feel like "sitting with Brad [Pitt] and George, telling the press how great everybody is! That's not for me." Yes, Marky, I can see that being sweet and gracious (if a little over-the-top with the buddy routine) is not your bag. And, yeah, I know that you haven't been Marky Mark for awhile, but until you shape up, I won't be calling you by your given name.
Second on the list is PETA. I pretty much hate everything that PETA does because I can't stand smugness, and a lot of their "facts" are, frankly, not actual facts. But picking on poor, dimwitted Jessica Simpson is just low. It's almost like making fun of a five-year-old. Plus, I kind of thought her "Real Girls Eat Meat" tee was precious. I am a fan of tees even though they're so 2001.
Oh, also. This?
4. Meat will make you fat. All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles. I hope the upcoming "Jessica Simpson's Intimates" line comes in plus sizes! Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way.Classy. I'm glad to know that PETA is also obsessed with body image.
Katie Heigl? You just barely escaped receiving a Shutty, but only because I just thought of them this morning. Lucky, lucky you.
But just so you don't think I'm a total Negative Nelly. (For the record, I'm just a nelly.) I'll hand out a You Done Good Award. Tom Colicchio gets it. I just spent about an hour clicking links to interviews with Chef Tom. I won't link to all of them, only his blog. He's developed such a fun, affable TV persona over the years, and I appreciate that. So, Chef Tom? You done good!
(Okay, I lied. I really have to link to this Grub Street interview because his wife makes a filthy comment, which made Tom blush. And made me want to hang out with her and a pitcher of martinis.)
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