You Are How You Speak

I post a lot on Facebook. A lot. Particularly about grammar and the trials of using language, in general. Today, however, I seem to have discussed usage a lot more than I normally do, and I really started examining how I write and speak. To be honest, this didn't suddenly occur to me today. I've been thinking about this problem for quite some time now and have been trying to improve myself as a speaker and writer.

I once read that one should avoid slang because it dates the user. Slang is a particular problem for me, as it is, to some degree, for most people. In an effort to be more articulate and less colloquial, I am attempting to wean myself off certain words and phrases. Perhaps by chronicling my efforts, I can better stick to this grammatical workout regimen.

Word/Phrase #1: Issues, as in "I have my own issues to deal with" or "This article I just read has so many issues, I can't even deal." (Stay tuned for Phrase #2.) I'm not sure when everyone started having "issues," but I first heard it in a psychiatric or counselling context. It was a less judgmental way to refer to a person's problems. A client isn't troubled; he has issues. The term caught on outside of this context to mean any general problem a person might have with anything. ("I have issues with David E. Kelley's twisted take on the law.") It has now enjoyed such overuse, in all manner of contexts, that it has lost virtually all meaning.

To highlight this point, let's examine the first paragraph as it more or less originally composed itself in my head:

I post a lot on Facebook. A lot. It's an issue for me. Particularly about grammar and issues with using language, in general. Today, however, I seem to have discussed usage a lot more than normal, and I really started examining how I write and speak. To be honest, this issue didn't suddenly occur to me today. I've been thinking about this issue for quite some time now and have been trying to solve my writing and speaking issues.

This is no longer simply about slang use; it's a matter of overall clarity. "Issue" is, for all intents and purposes, a non-word. And I've got issues with that.

Possible alternatives:
"I have issues with this point." = "I disagree with this point."
"I have so many issues with my mother." = "My mother and I have never gotten along."
"That guy has issues." = "He is an unsavory character."

My God!!!

Apparently, people are upset because Obama didn't praise God, and he started speaking in tongues on Thanksgiving. No? He didn't? Seriously? ...

But it's still suck a thing:

I've already told you the history of Thanksgiving.

They were religious zealots, bad enough that the country wanted to get rid of.

Keep in mind: These (the English) are the same people who sent their prisoners to another WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS COMPLETELY uninhabitable continent. We now take seriously a country called Australia.

Think about that. They sent these "pilgrims" to a place they thought was uninhabitable. England sent the pilgrims (the same way the sent their convicts) to what they thought was a desolate place TO DIE! (Did you forget the Australians?) And when they were rescued by the natives, they took a homeland feast celebration. I believe it was all amicable.

But this is what Republicans have to remember when pissing about Obama's not talking about "God". Bush didn't do it.

Also, Thanksgiving was a festival harvest. It wasn't a "God" thing...

So, I have to regrettably say again, "Shut up, Christians!"