Breaking the Rules of Etiquette

We've all heard that golden rule of etiquette: "Never discuss religion or politics in polite company." Well, I think we've broken past the point of politeness, so strap in, children!

Religion has been all over the news and social media, due to the recent terrorist attacks around the world. I’ve read loads of anti-Muslim rhetoric from supposed Christians, including some who want to be our president. On the opposite end of the faith spectrum, I’ve seen tons of anti-religious speech from atheists, as well.

Bottom line: It’s all unacceptable, as far as I’m concerned.

Let me be clear, I’m agnostic. I choose that term because, although I don’t believe in a conscious god who controls the universe, I’m also not arrogant enough to believe that I absolutely know how this universe came to be and continues to exist. As I read and talk to others and learn, my perspective evolves. Personally, I think every religion has it wrong. There may be some elements of truth there, but nothing man-made is ever going to fully grasp something infinite.

However, I don’t believe in denigrating any particular religious institution or those who adhere to it. One of the purposes that organized religion serves is to help people formulate a perspective that will guide them through this confusing journey of life. My belief system is unorthodox and has some holes, but, so far, it’s served me well. Why should I deny that to someone else?

Yes, people do unconscionable things in the name of religion, but, in my opinion, that’s not a fault of religion. That’s a fault in the person. Furthermore, it’s a fault in our human psyche that still embraces tribalism to the degree that we are willing to go to war because others are outside of the tribe.

That’s the real trouble. It’s not differing beliefs (or skin colors, or sexual orientations, or geographic placements) that pit us against each other, but the impulse to demonize those who lie outside our self-identification. That’s tribalism in a nutshell. It’s a human instinct that has, in many ways, outlived its usefulness.

You know, I’ve always said that the only way we could ever truly achieve world peace is if we were to discover life on another planet. Then, we could band together to demonize them instead of each other.

We have to remember that, in the end, we are all connected to one another. And I don’t think that’s a simplistic or naïve point of view. It’s essential to who we are as citizens of this planet and creations of the divine.

Brush-a, Brush-a, Brush-a

More than likely, you brush your teeth every day. I mean, I don't want to assume. However, do you brush your teeth correctly? The ADA recommends brushing at least twice a day, for at least two minutes per session. Along with flossing, this promotes good oral health. And good oral health has been shown to be linked to overall health, particularly cardiovascular health. It’s not just an indicator of cardiovascular health, but integral to it. Are you brushing just so that your breath doesn’t smell, or do you want healthy teeth and gums – and a healthy heart?

Now, think about prayer and/or meditation (whatever that means for you; see my 10/3/15 and 10/20/15 posts for my own views). Do you pray? How often? For how long? What do you pray about?

Do you see where I’m going here? Some people see prayer as something they do in desperate times. Some people aren’t quite sure how to pray. Some people just sort of pray by rote, with no real connection to the divine.

I’ve learned that when I don’t regularly pray and meditate (and journaling is part of meditation for me), things fall apart. Just like if I don’t brush my teeth regularly – or, correctly – my gums suffer.

So that begs the question: Is there a right way to pray? I don’t feel comfortable saying that there is an absolutely right way. How about we say that prayer ought to be effective? The important thing is to make that connection with God. If I’ve meditated for 15 minutes, and I don’t feel anything, then I know that I’ve done something wrong – or haven’t done something right, as the case may be. When I journal, I have to walk away with a sense of calm or a sense of purpose, not feeling just as agitated or confused as I did going in.

I think what’s also important is that I don’t do these things just when I’m hacked off about something or I’m feeling worried or I want something to happen. I have to be in the practice so that when I need a revelation, then I’m not just fumbling around. You don’t start brushing when your gums start bleeding, although it can help; you brush to prevent the bleeding. You don’t start praying to get out of a desperate situation; you keep praying so that you’re not desperate in difficult situations.

So, there’s the question before you: How does prayer figure into your life, and how do you engage in it? Have at it, kids. Discuss.

Postscript: Of course, this is what I think of whenever I start to brush my teeth: 

Little Foxes

“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” Song of Solomon 2:15 (NIV)

 

In any therapeutic environment, you’re bound to run into numerous clichés and pithy quotes to help “inspire” you. At the ministry I just left, one of the pastor’s favorite one-liners was “It’s the little foxes that spoil the vine,” meaning that it’s the small habits which one might think are harmless that ultimately degrade one’s relationship with God.

We all have things we do which we think are harmless. That little white lie. Stealing office supplies. That snarky comment you were sure no one really caught. These things can often lead to bigger issues. And I don’t mean that taking Post-Its from work means that you’ll eventually knock over a liquor store. (Why is it always a liquor store, by the way? I digress.) No, these little things sometimes open the door to excusing deeper, more dangerous behaviors.

I regularly examine the things in my life which might be potential blocks in my connection with the divine. For example, Facebook. Relax, I’m just talking about myself. And, yes, I’m fully aware that I’m discussing how I sometimes get caught up in the internet… on the internet. I have to be very conscious about how I use Facebook because there was a time when I’d post specifically so people could tell me how witty or insightful I was. I needed that validation to form my self-esteem. Because my self-worth is something that I’ve been working on, I am now careful about how much I post and how often I check, as well as what I’m expecting when I check. It sounds like a small thing, but, for me, it’s huge.

Which is exactly the point here.

So, try it out. What are your “little foxes” that you think could be holding you back from being all that the universe has for you to be? And, then, what can you do about them?

Postscript: Okay, have you ever read Song of Solomon? It’s really just one long – and somewhat explicit – love poem. It’s the ultimate period romance. Read it if you ever get tired of buxom maidens and roguish pirates. Most Christian theologians, however, see it as a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and the Church.