The Corner Table: You Are Cordially Invited

You may be happy to know that I have created a workable Excel spreadsheet with which to catalog my recipes. (You may not be happy to know this or you may not care, but just keep that negativity to your damn self, m'kay?) I've tackled one recipe folder out of 11 on my computer. So far, that's 104 out of 747. If you're keeping track, that means that I've deleted a few. They were mostly puddings and all the measurements were metric. I don't even really like puddings, and I'm not wasting time converting metric measurements for recipes I'm probably not going to make. Never mind that most measuring cups have both systems of measurement. That's the not the point. The point is that I am so enamored with recipes that I will copy a recipe just for the sake of copying it!... But , like most things in life, it's not necessarily that simple.

If nothing else, this project will be an exciting exploration of my food proclivities and culinary desires. (Again, if you don't agree with this observation, please... just... no.) For example, why did I have five different pudding recipes? I don't even like desserts all that much. What I do like, however, is imagining hosting gorgeous dinner parties. No, no. It's no special occasion. I just thought it would be nice to cram 10 of my closest friends into my Jersey City studio. Thanks for braving the PATH! I've got sleeping bags if you don't feel safe walking back to the train this late.

Wait... Where was I? Oh, yeah. Dinner parties. I think the idea of playing host, whether it be a dinner party or overnight guests, is one of the largest criteria for which recipes I acquire. I have planned elaborate spreads, from appetizers to dessert, with cocktails to start and warm beverages to close. For the unlikely possibility of hosting house guests, I am compelled to save jam recipes. Now, I usually eat plain peanut butter sandwiches or toast with just butter or a bagel with just cream cheese. I don't need jam. But the idea of giving a jar of homemade jam as a gift stimulates the Martha Stewart center of my brain. Likewise with scones, imagine staying at a friend's house and waking up to fresh scones. Or a parfait. Or an elaborate breakfast. (French toast casserole with brown sugar bacon, anyone?)

And it's not just acting as a host; there is also the matter of being a thoughtful guest. Who wouldn't love a basket of cookies as a thank-you gift? And who among us hasn't racked our brains to figure out the perfect take-along to a BBQ or party? This is how I've wound up with well over 200 appetizers and desserts, including consciously acquired vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free options. Mind you, many of these recipes (especially, as mentioned earlier, the desserts), I would never actually eat, myself. But, as an imagined guest, I must always have ideas at the ready. This is why my catalog also includes a "Special Occasion" category, so that I can easily filter for items appropriate for Christmas or Passover or a baby shower Flag Day pool party.

Goodness knows that most of these recipes will never come to life in my kitchen, and who knows whether I'll ever actually host that dinner party. But, like a Boy Scout, I am super-gay. I mean, always prepared.