The Corner Table: You Are Cordially Invited

You may be happy to know that I have created a workable Excel spreadsheet with which to catalog my recipes. (You may not be happy to know this or you may not care, but just keep that negativity to your damn self, m'kay?) I've tackled one recipe folder out of 11 on my computer. So far, that's 104 out of 747. If you're keeping track, that means that I've deleted a few. They were mostly puddings and all the measurements were metric. I don't even really like puddings, and I'm not wasting time converting metric measurements for recipes I'm probably not going to make. Never mind that most measuring cups have both systems of measurement. That's the not the point. The point is that I am so enamored with recipes that I will copy a recipe just for the sake of copying it!... But , like most things in life, it's not necessarily that simple.

If nothing else, this project will be an exciting exploration of my food proclivities and culinary desires. (Again, if you don't agree with this observation, please... just... no.) For example, why did I have five different pudding recipes? I don't even like desserts all that much. What I do like, however, is imagining hosting gorgeous dinner parties. No, no. It's no special occasion. I just thought it would be nice to cram 10 of my closest friends into my Jersey City studio. Thanks for braving the PATH! I've got sleeping bags if you don't feel safe walking back to the train this late.

Wait... Where was I? Oh, yeah. Dinner parties. I think the idea of playing host, whether it be a dinner party or overnight guests, is one of the largest criteria for which recipes I acquire. I have planned elaborate spreads, from appetizers to dessert, with cocktails to start and warm beverages to close. For the unlikely possibility of hosting house guests, I am compelled to save jam recipes. Now, I usually eat plain peanut butter sandwiches or toast with just butter or a bagel with just cream cheese. I don't need jam. But the idea of giving a jar of homemade jam as a gift stimulates the Martha Stewart center of my brain. Likewise with scones, imagine staying at a friend's house and waking up to fresh scones. Or a parfait. Or an elaborate breakfast. (French toast casserole with brown sugar bacon, anyone?)

And it's not just acting as a host; there is also the matter of being a thoughtful guest. Who wouldn't love a basket of cookies as a thank-you gift? And who among us hasn't racked our brains to figure out the perfect take-along to a BBQ or party? This is how I've wound up with well over 200 appetizers and desserts, including consciously acquired vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free options. Mind you, many of these recipes (especially, as mentioned earlier, the desserts), I would never actually eat, myself. But, as an imagined guest, I must always have ideas at the ready. This is why my catalog also includes a "Special Occasion" category, so that I can easily filter for items appropriate for Christmas or Passover or a baby shower Flag Day pool party.

Goodness knows that most of these recipes will never come to life in my kitchen, and who knows whether I'll ever actually host that dinner party. But, like a Boy Scout, I am super-gay. I mean, always prepared.

The Corner Table: You Are What You Want to Eat

I love food. This is most visibly apparent by my bulging waistline and the constant rivulet of saliva traversing down the bottom right side of my face. Yup, I love food. I love eating it. I love smelling it. I love talking about it. I love dreaming about it... Okay, not really. I usually have nightmares about food, in that I never actually get to eat in any of my dreams involving food (usually served buffet style), but I digress.

Most importantly, I have found that I love cooking food. More accurately, I have rediscovered a love of cooking. When I was young, I would watch cooking shows on TV. Julia Child was my favorite (and, perhaps, my first), and I would madly transcribe the recipes as she reeled them off with such delight. I never got to try any of those recipes, but I eventually became quite the consummate baker during high school. That was driven mostly by my insatiable adolescent appetite. I would come home craving an after-school snack, so I'd bake some biscuits. Or some cookies. Or a cake!

As an adult, I lost the will to cook for myself, but never the love. Two of my proudest domestic moments from early on were making homemade cranberry sorbet and pumpkin cheesecake for Thanksgiving at my friends' house and, the next year, making a full Thanksgiving meal for four at my own apartment (with vegetarian accommodations, even!).

Over the past few years, I have come full circle, once again feverishly copying recipes. Thankfully, 20 years of technological advances have allowed me to jump from manually transcribing Julia Child to Googling a recipe, then simply cutting and pasting it into a document. (This has led to a serious recipe collecting addiction that blasts the Pokemon craze out of the freakin' water.) I've also been able to test -- and modify -- several great recipes, for both traditional homemade fare and restaurant-quality items. This is where I stand right now and where you, dear reader (because I assume there's only one of you), reap the benefit of my trial and error.

I have long wanted to add a food component to this blog. Food is as integral to a culture as its politics or religion(s) (or lack, thereof). Like any institution, it influences and is influenced by its people, their history and their surroundings. It brings us together -- and, when there's only one donut left, can tear us apart. It is entertainment; it is culture. And, of course, that is what I write about and explore.

So, welcome to the Corner Table! My current project is cataloging the 753 recipes I have saved on my computer (I told you I was addicted) and coming up with a successful system that will ultimately allow me to more easily access my recipes for whatever need I am trying to meet. This may take awhile, so that's probably what I'll focus on for the moment. But once I'm up and running again, I aim to delve into my foodie adventures. I hope you'll enjoy them as much as I do.

So, slap on your rib bib, grab a wet nap and let's do this!