Happy Freakin' Holidays!

At some point in my youth, my awareness of the world around me grew, as happens with normal human development, and I realized that people had stopped declaring "Merry Christmas" in December and had switched over to "Happy Holidays!" Cities and even small towns stopped erecting nativity scenes on government property, usually due to lawsuits. (Because, what's more American than the separation of church and state? Suing to reinforce what should be common sense.) Schools put on holiday pageants, not Christmas pageants. And, of course, Christians got all up in arms about a war on Christmas and, by extension, Christianity. (Because, what's more American than lawsuits? People in power claiming persecution and discrimination whenever that power is questioned.)

Let me say this, as I feel I must every year: I say "Happy Holidays," not to take Christmas away from Christians or to declare war on Christians, but because -- and this might come as a shock -- Christmas isn't the only holiday going on. I'm not being politically correct (a pejorative term from its very inception); I'm being realistic.

Now, let's talk about the holiday, itself. Listen closely Christians. As a larger cultural institution, Christmas has evolved into a general, secular holiday, open to anyone who wants to celebrate. This is pretty much what happens in an inter-faith (and I use that term to include non-believers, as well) such as ours. However, it's worth mentioning that this sort of secularism isn't purely an American phenomenon. In other words, no one is trying to silence or eradicate Christianity. So just stop bitching. PLEASE! (Please keep this all in mind come Easter time. I don't want to have to repeat myself.)

Okay, now that that's out of the way, here's the real meat of what I'd like to say to you Christians about Christmas: If you want Christmas back, take it. I don't want it. While I like Christmas music and absolutely adore Christmas decorations, I hate the holiday, itself. It's commercial and creates weird expectations (both material and non-material) between people who would normally consider themselves acquaintances, at best. "What about Christmas spirit?" you say. My response would be, "I don't need the month of December to remind me to be nice, gracious and charitable." And, frankly, if I see one more television show's or movie's take on It's a Wonderful Life, I may have to travel back through time and alternate dimensions in order to push George Bailey off that bridge my damn self.

My point is, celebrate the birth of your messiah as much as you want. Have at it. It's all yours. If Christianity goes back to being solely a Christian holiday, then maybe people will stop making that funny face and calling me a Grinch when I say I don't celebrate it. And maybe, just maybe, the eternal question will be answered: "Was there a Jesus Who?"